Wow, its been awhile since my last blog. Its hard to remain faithful to something thats really not essential in one's life. So at 3 am on a stormy early Sunday morning here I am writing about the uncertainity and questions of life.
For those that don't know and are uninformed, I graduated Gateway College of Evangelism!!! And I am "ready" to face the world of unknown. Its so ironic how while at Gateway I was bursting out the seams (not literally) to take on the whole world and now everything seems timid and tentative...(I get the picture of Bambi learning how to walk..haha)
Its definitely surreal and very disconcerting not to take obvious paths that logic would dictate you take but to rely on some quiet inner voice that is steadily and constantly assuring you that there is an unknown road that you must travel down.
As humans we seek security and the path that is known where the rewards or pitfalls have been duly located and noted but thats not really how it works in God's world or economy. His ways, logic, and being totally surpasses our pea size brain and our even smaller faith.
I think God sometimes thinks, "I wish the idiot humans would quit trying to figure everything out and stop trying to discover all the answers, and just GO in obedience." I am trying to learn this. After graduating the question that looms large in my life is, what NOW?
What, where, and how are the question that are incessantly pounded into my mind and heart. And in that I have truly leaned on God because as I laid there many nights nervous, scared, fearful, timid, and feeling sorry for myself, God has been steadily assuring me to trust Him and His ways aren't ours. So while our situation seems unclear in human dynamics, God is wanting to see faith from us and thats when He raises us up, open doors, and empowers.
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Zora Neale Hurston said, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” I feel like I'm back in the questions stage too sometimes. Blogging is hard. I usually don't care to keep up with things like this, but I just started one and I figured if I keep the blogs short, I feel like writing more. If something moves me enough, I will write a long one, but I found that if I keep expecting myself to come out with these long, profound things to say -- I'm just going to intimidate myself.
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